How to let go?

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This Month: Non-Possessiveness (Aparigraha): How to let go?

Previous months: Monthly Inspiration.


Dear Champs,


What do we do when a difficult situation arises, in ourselves or around us? It could be that we make a situation more dramatic than it really is, we hide or we ignore it. Simply put: fight, flight and freeze. Which response are you more likely to give?


Thus; … Ready for the theme of May?

Non-Possessiveness is what we will look at this month.


So, let’s take a look at Non-Possessiveness closer to home.

How can you let go of possessiveness and trust life?


Let’s look at:

How to let go?

Coming back to the question at the beginning of the blog; What can we do when a difficult situation arises, in ourselves or around us? Would you like to know what the Yoga philosophy says about it? That it can be done differently. Don’t possess it. Don’t hold on to it. Let it go. Let it be. I for sure have been raised this way, but still; what does it mean exactly? Or more importantly: how to actually do it properly?


This is what I’ve come across when looking into it personally. It’s also my favourite topic when I speak with a very wise friend of mine. Like he often states: “Marianne, look around you. Right now, this moment is all you have. This is it. Trust that you’ll be taken care of and you’ll receive that which you need and/or can handle.”. I know, it’s not always so easy to feel that trust in life!


In other words, you could say that ‘letting go’ means acceptance of what is present. And you know what, sensations (feelings), emotions, and thoughts come and go. Again, and again, like clouds in the sky. And the good thing is you and I don’t need to change it. We don’t need to interfere. Sensations will change automatically. It’s in their nature. The same counts for the thoughts and emotions that we notice. They’re just passing through and are like messengers. We only need to listen and then act upon it from a place of awareness. Is this easy? No, it might take us ages to get it right. That’s just what it is.



So, what we basically can ‘do’ to let go, is:


  • Observe what is going on.
  • Notice it.
  • Recognize it for what it is.
  • Acknowledge its presence.
  • Accept it.
  • It will then let go of you.


Non-possessiveness teaches us to let go of all the gripping and the holding on. It is said that we are happier when we simply accept the moment for what it brings us. For example, when you experience a precious moment, can you allow it to be there and fully enjoy it and dive into that feeling? Or will you be too busy posting it on social media?


When we experience something pleasant, we crave for more.

We then get possessive.


When it is unpleasant, we want it to stop and go away or we simply become numb.

So, there it is again: Fight, Flight, Freeze.


Life teaches me again, and again that what needs to be seen, will keep on emerging, until I finally take a closer look at it. I know it can be as drastic as a burn-out. If we avoid moving through life at a slower pace when our body is telling us it needs a break, the volume will go up. If we keep on ignoring our body’s messages, you’ll get a burn-out and your body will just stop doing what you’d like it to do. So, are you listening? Are you ready to let go of all of your ‘I must do this first and then…’ and ‘I have to do this and then…’? Can you allow yourself to slow down and listen?


‘What we try to possess, possesses us’
_Deborah Adele.


“Do you trust the moment enough to just be?” like Deborah Adele writes in her book ‘The Yamas and Niyamas, Exploring Yoga’s Ethical Practice’. Everything in us and around us keeps on changing. Although it all seems pretty constant, everything is constantly in motion. By wanting it to be different, we constantly disappoint ourselves. This is what makes us dissatisfied. This is what makes us keep on striving for more. Like Deborah explains in her book: “What we try to possess, possesses us’”. 


What can we do to let go of this possessiveness? How can we learn to be less attached to the outcome of things? How can we stop using all kinds of strategies to get what we think we need? Can we stop manipulating ourselves, people around us and situations we find ourselves in?


How to trust life?

Do this:

  • Be in the moment. Sit still. Breathe.
  • Tune into what’s present. Feel into it. Listen.
  • Accept what is present.
  • Do nothing. Don’t go about changing it or wanting it to be different.
  • Trust the moment.


It is like Deborah says: “What if we could trust life like we trust the breath?”. It is about going on that journey called ‘Life’ and travelling lightly with love, with trust and with gratitude in our heart. Also, it is about knowing that first step that we need to take. And it is about trusting the process we are in. Just like with the breath. We just know that after an inhale, the exhale will follow.


Last, but not least, even though we eventually will breathe out our last exhale; can we live now and let go of wanting to know where we are going? Just like Deborah states: “The practice of non-clinging is as free as swinging from bar to bar effortlessly, in perfect trust and timing. This is not only for the trapeze artist”. Are you ready to let things be and listen?


Good to know!

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With love and care,
Marianne de Kuyper


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// I, Marianne (founder) am a Dutch girl going global. Even though (the team and) I reread everything multiple times, my apologies in case I’ve made a language mistake somewhere. Just email me about it. I’ll be happy to adjust it if I can and learn from it! //